Lighter and Heavier

The last week has been…difficult. I’m still trying to process all of the reports and images of the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy. It feels like the heartbreak just keep coming and I’m definitely struggling to cope. My mother is having a really difficult time as well. It seems like she’s having some anxiety/panic attacks after the storm. She’s definitely worried about my father and his business and is feeling so sad for all the people who lost everything.

The breaking point for my mom was a few days ago. My aunt and uncle still didn’t have power and their inlaws were staying with them because they had severe flooding in their Shark River, NJ home. My mom offered to do some laundry for those inlaws. When my mom returned the clothes, Donna hugged her and cried because she was finally coming to terms with the fact that much of her home was destroyed. That rocked my mom. She called me and described it to me and was very upset.

These are the stories that make my heart feel so heavy. It’s like I’m walking around with a brick in my chest. It makes me feel 20 pounds heavier despite the fact that this morning I found out that I was officially lighter than I was when I found out I was pregnant with Nathan. On one hand that number is a huge deal for me but seeing it in the wake of such disaster makes it seem so inconsequential. I’m lighter but I feel heavier. It’s such a strange combination of things.

To add insult to injury a more traditional N’or Easter is coming to this area tomorrow. For those of you who didn’t grow up in the Northeastern part of the U.S. these types of storms are really common for us. They traditionally form this time of year and bring large volumes of rain or snow and high wind. Sustained wind along the coast could be as high as 30-40 mph with gusts to 60+mph. So many areas are still struggling to pick up the pieces and another storm will bring more destruction and significantly slow relief and cleanup efforts. I feel like I’m holding my breath all over again as this storm comes together.

Hopefully any of you reading this who were impacted by the storm are safe and warm. For those of you who aren’t please consider helping out in any way that you can. The Red Cross is always a good first stop. Let’s hope the incoming storm doesn’t bring significant destruction in the wake of Sandy. I’ll keep my fingers and toes crossed for everyone in the region.

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About Elaine

Mom, engineer, writer, gamer, gym rat. Ain't nobody got time for excuses.
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