I’m still attempting to figure out how to survive on like 4 hours of broken sleep. That means I look and feel a little like a zombie and you will have to deal with a post that reflects that. BRAAAIIINNNNNSSSS. Sorry, I’ll get that under control. Don’t shoot me in the head just yet.
Allow me to bore you with a timeline of my night last night.
7:00pm: Toddler goes to sleep. Or at least he goes into his crib.
7:05pm: Toddler screams. Husband goes upstairs to settle him. I deal with a very awake, slightly cranky, infant.
7:30pm: Feed baby. Pray to all things holy she does not spitup on me.
7:32pm: DAMNIT. Change shirt, change baby, lull baby back to sleep.
8:00pm: Baby is unconscious. I make the poor decision to wake an episode of Chopped we have on DVR instead of going to sleep.
9:00pm: Baby, husband, and I go to bed. I pray the baby does not wake up 15 minutes later.
11:41pm: Baby has awakened to feed. I might have gotten 1.5 hours of sleep in there but it’s better than nothing.
12:10am: Baby is resettled. I have changed my shirt again, this time because I had soaked it with sweat. Being postpartum and breastfeeding is so sexy.
2:00am: Baby awakens again to feed. She is a bottomless pit of doom. This time she refuses to nurse so Don gives her a bottle while I attempt to go back to sleep.
2:10am: I roll over onto my tummy and practically scream in pain. Must pump because baby did not want to nurse. WANT MORE SLEEP.
2:30am: Back in bed without a wardrobe change this time.
3:55am: Toddler awakens screaming. I go into his room and perform something akin to hostage negotiations to get him to go back to sleep.
4:30am: Baby awakens because of course.
5:00am: Toddler awakens again. I attempt said negotiations a second time but they are unsuccessful. I take baby from Don and he goes to free the Toddler from his wooden prison.
6:00am: We are now all awake. I need all the coffee.
The best part about all of this is last night was actually a good night. The night before last Nathan woke up twice screaming (I’m fairly certain he’s getting the first of his two year molars), and the baby was wide awake from 11pm – 3am. I’ve officially changed my mind. Consider me a full on zombie and shoot me in the head. Don’t miss.