Two year olds can totally be jerks

I realize the title of this post probably makes me seems like an awful parent, especially to those of you who don’t have children. The thing is, if I’m not honest on my own blog where else am I going to rock the honesty? I could talk to the other parents at Daycare about this shit but when I do that I mostly get the judgmental looks and I am not in a state to handle that right now.

The truth of the matter is toddlers are kind of jerks. It’s not really their fault, it’s completely developmental. They are trying to find their independence but at the same time they need all the things RIGHT NOW. They want to tell you what they want but they lack the language to do so. They also don’t really understand the things they are feeling which means frustration. More specifically it means, ALL TANTRUMS ALL THE TIME OMFG.

My son is a very sweet almost two-year old. He’s got an amazing smile, a generally good disposition, and is generally a lot of fun. My son is also very smart, very demanding, and very much a two-year old. In the last few weeks, even before my daughter was born, he has been in a phase of epic tantrums for no discernible reason. The whole bringing home a new baby thing just exacerbated the problem and elevated the tantrums to threat level red. Threat level red is not a place you want to be people. Threat level red would make Homeland Security fucking cry.

This generally sweet, loving boy of mine pretty much threw himself on the floor for no reason approximately every 15 minutes today. It was exhausting. I am physically drained and most of that is not from the newborn who wakes up every 2-3 hours to eat all night and day. The exhaustion is from the emotional roller coaster that is the feral two-year old. Tantrums were thrown over toys now working the way he wanted them to, crackers not being the right size, and a sippy cup that may or may not have looked at him funny. By 7pm I was ready for him to sleep and me to break out the good gin because wine is so not cutting it right now.

I know that a lot of this has to do with the new baby. The rest of it has to do with him

Two-year olds are not unlike pissed off lions.

being two and generally being jerky because of the age. I also know that this, like all the other stages of bullshit that have come in his first two years, will pass and he will be pleasant again at least temporarily. In the meantime though, I am going to need much more patience, and possibly more booze. I keep hoping the baby will decide that she is magically an awesome sleeper so at least I don’t have to go into the mornings dealing with the toddler of doom on zero hours of sleep. In my head that is a lot like trying to fight off a lion with a set of panty hose, you may as well just give in and let the beast eat you.


About Elaine

Mom, engineer, writer, gamer, gym rat. Ain't nobody got time for excuses.
This entry was posted in baby, sleep, toddler and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Two year olds can totally be jerks

  1. As the non-parent, I am chuckling over the categories and tags this post was put into. 🙂

    But as being the aunt for all my sibling’s kids, I can tell you that it will pass. This hellacious time is temporary. Much like war, there are times of hardship and times of peace. Right now, you’re in a trench with a short man yelling things at you while you feed a little girl burrito.

    Ok, so my analogies might need some work, but it’s a Saturday night, I’ve been painting for 3 days now, and I’ve demolished most of a bottle of Chardonnay.

    Now, to make you laugh (because OMG this was hilarious): Adventures in Baby Pooping


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