Storms of Many Different Varieties

I’m not going to beat around the bush here folks, there is some SHIT going down here in NJ. I’m partly referring to the epic hurricane which is going to pass right through the area and likely down our power for an extended period of time. I’m also partially referring to my son.

If I hear "Come on Irene" one more fucking time....

It turns out that I was right on point about his sleep disturbance being developmental. Since he woke up this morning he has magically been able to blow a whistle, kick a ball, figure out how to place non symmetrical shapes in their correct holes, and throw over hand. Yeah that all happened. It all happened TODAY.

So with all of that being accomplished in a twelve hour period and his babble rapidly becoming more complex I can of see why he might be having some trouble sleeping. This kid’s brain must be in hyper overdrive mode right now. I’m honestly curious what he figures out how to do tomorrow.

We did battle it out with him a bit last night to get him to sleep. Let me elaborate on that and share why I feel like a terrible parent today. Nathan went to bed around 7pm. Lately the bulk of his sleep problems have been related to early waking but last night he woke up at 10:45pm. He wanted us to pick him up, to play with him, to party. Unfortunately I’m pregnant and tired and my husband is also exhausted.

So, I got to play the game where I refused to pick him up and instead checked in on him every 10 minutes or so. He got pissed. When I went in there the first time I told him I loved him but it was time to sleep. I stayed a minute or two and then left. When I left he screamed. It wasn’t despair or fear it was anger. I gave him about 10 minutes and then went back a second time (still not picking him up) and offered him a cup with water, a hug, and more I love yous. He got mad again when I left but this time after about 4 minutes everything was quiet and he was asleep.

The thing about this that makes me feel terrible is that I know this disturbance isn’t something he’s happy about either. He’s exhausted some mornings and seems frustrated in the middle of the night that he’s awake but we don’t want to be. I hate, hate, HATE letting this kid cry. It breaks my heart. My husband and I were laying in bed for the 10 minute intervals holding hands with our hearts beating in our throats. Part of me knows that for Nathan this is the best way to convey that it’s time to rest and not to play. I also know that by making sure he rests I’m doing the best I can do for him right now. Part of me feels awful that I’m making him so upset. I hate it. My husband hates it.

Nathan woke up this morning around 5:30am and was a pretty happy kid. Giving hugs and kisses, playing with his trains, smiling and laughing. He even sat with me in the rocking chair and watching a DVD for a bit while my husband showered. He doesn’t hold on to the anger or frustration of the night before which makes me feel a little better but yet it doesn’t completely fix it for me.

Hopefully this passes soon and we don’t need to go through these battles nightly. I love my son. I want the best for him. I don’t like to hear him cry. At least I can look forward to more new developments as we struggle through this mess. Maybe he’ll talk soon…

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About Elaine

Mom, engineer, writer, gamer, gym rat. Ain't nobody got time for excuses.
This entry was posted in baby, house bullshit, sleep and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Storms of Many Different Varieties

  1. Good Luck with Irene an be safe … Also way to go to you to for sticking up for one another … When me and my ex were together it was divided an not good. I would always have my daughter go to bed early, but she would cry an my ex stayed up with her playing/ movie watching till 1 am … I will say it is hard to break your child of a bad habit like this … Since my daughter started school she has been sleeping earlier, but it is still a struggle in the mornings from what i hear an when i get her on the weekends …

  2. barbex says:

    Oh dear, the crying out..
    We couldn’t do it with our first son, he cried like he was in mortal danger, fell asleep from exhaustion, woke up again and continued crying from where he left of. My husband and I sat on the couch and on the third night we said “Fuck it, this is not us!” So we picked him up, took him in our bed and let him sleep with us.
    We had to do it differently with our second son cause he wouldn’t fall back asleep, he wanted to party! So we had do find another way with him.

    Every child is different and you just have to do what feels right for you.

  3. Elaine says:

    Barbex, my son is exactly like your second. Once he’s out of the crib, that’s it he won’t go back to sleep. Unfortunately this modified crying/visiting thing is the only way to convince him it’s time to rest. After two terrible nights we had two decent nights where he slept from 6:30pm until 5 or 5:30am. I consider that to be totally fine so if he keeps doing that we’ll be good. He woke up this morning in a ridiculously good mood too which is a nice change. More than likely he got a tooth and some of this brain development happened so he’s back in a reasonable place. We’ll see how it goes moving forward though.Kids are a crazy ride.

  4. barbex says:

    I just wanted to assure you that if you find a way to deal with shit without losing your sanity – YOU’RE DOING IT RIGHT! There are so many advice-wars going on around the right way of childrearing, don’t let it confuse you!
    You have to find a way that works for you and your son and when you have your second child you may have to find completely new ways with that one.

    With our second son everything is so different I sometimes wonder how two people who are so different can come from the same DNA samples.

    Keep on trucking!

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