I am completely without words right now. Today you are a year old. I really can’t believe it. I can’t believe you grew so fast. I can’t believe you can do so much. I can’t believe your father and I survived your first year. The last twelve months have made me realize just how much I can love another person. I love you so fiercely there are almost no words to describe it. When you are sick I cry to your father that I want to be sick instead of watch you suffer. I hate seeing you hurt. You handle being sick better than I handle watching you.
It took us a while to bond in the beginning. Actually, it was me. It took me a while to feel like your mother. In the last year you have rearranged me. You’ve helped me to figure out who I am and to find my confidence. Having you has forced me to stand up for someone. I’ve been forced to grow a spine in order to make the right things are done for you. I can’t thank you enough for that. Finding confidence in myself has always been difficult and in the span of just a year you helped me find something I’ve been wanting my whole life. You have taught me so much more than I have taught you.
You are becoming your own person now. Every day I see more personality. You show that personality to every person you meet. It’s amazing to see you smile and flirt with new people so easily. You are stubborn like your father (and me too). You must always be multitasking (just like me). You insist on doing certain things yourself. You insist on doing everything when you are ready. This makes you challenging but simultaneously fun. You are never boring, Nathan. I am never bored with you.
I love you sweet son. I will always love you. You show me the world every day. It seems like there are so many things I have forgotten and you are reminding me of them. You remind me that squirrels are amazing. You remind me that bubbles are so much fun. You remind me that splashing in the tub is a simple pleasure we forget about each day. You even remind me that closing and opening doors changes the things we can see. I forgot how amazing the world is. Thank you for showing me. I look forward to more of that.
You decided today that you would take a slew of steps. You just left your aunt Melissa’s arms and walked right into mine. Then you walked from me to daddy, back to me, back to Melissa, to aunt Heather. It was amazing. You didn’t need to get me a present on your own birthday but you did. It was the best thing I saw all day besides your smiling face this morning.
I just want you to know again how fiercely your father and I love you. We would do anything for you. You are our most amazing gift and the best thing we have ever done together. You are perfect. Happy birthday, Nathan. We love you.
Mom and Dad