My Husband Owes Me $10

I called this shit.  I need to collect on the money I’m owed.  I’M RIGHT BITCH!  Maybe I should back up….

I told you lovely people about the trip to the ER Saturday which resulted in the reduction of Nathan’s fever, a note that his throat is red, and discharge with diagnosis of a virus.  Well I packed Mr. Cranky McCranky Jerk up today and took him to the doctor.  Apparently the “redness” (hey fuck you ER you could have given me a bit more information) is actually a bunch of ulcers down his throat.  The short version is that this combined with the high fever he had results in a fast diagnosis of Coxsackie by the pediatrician.  This is not a fun virus.  High ass fever which breaks and is immediately followed by incredibly painful ulcers down the throat.  Some folks get sores on the hands/feet as well.  Some just get the fever without other symptoms (who the fuck are these people because they are not my son).  I actually got Coxsackie when I was 20 years old.  If you are a fan of Googling (spoiler: I am) you’ll find that this is incredibly rare.  It doesn’t tend to affect people over the age of 3.  I suppose my mental age was enough to fool the virus into thinking I was a small child.  I should probably start reading shit that is above a first grade reading level or maybe watch more Sesame Street.

When we left the ER on Saturday my husband asked me which virus in particular I thought this might be.  I told him Coxsackie.  He remembers me having it a few years ago and immediately said “no way” to which I responded “I bet you $10 I am right”.  So yeah I’m right about the shittiest thing to be right about.  On the plus side Nathan likes ice cream and can have it often until his throat heals.  On the double plus side the doc told me to give him a Benedryl/Maalox combo which is making him far less murderous and me far less likely to jump off a bridge.

Hopefully he’ll be well in a few more days and we can a) get some sleep around here and b) have a baby who I’m less likely to think is actually a time bomb in disguise.  So folks, how was your Monday!?

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About Elaine

Mom, engineer, writer, gamer, gym rat. Ain't nobody got time for excuses.
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2 Responses to My Husband Owes Me $10

  1. Lisa says:

    Aw, poor little guy! Also, it should be known that I’ll be 39 years old this week and cannot say coxsackie without giggling.

  2. Elaine says:

    Lisa, you are not alone. I almost made a horrible dick joke in the title of this post. The reason I didn’t is not because I wanted to appear mature but instead because I couldn’t pick a joke. Too.many.choices.

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